Apooorvaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Or more adoringly, Akooks. Or Appu from the Appu-Pappu twin conspiracy theory currently terrorising the Board. This tiny being here, at first glance, looks like a very calm and academically responsible person. And to be fair, she is (just the second trait). This woman attends workshops like they give out free property there, takes academic exams with terrifying seriousness, and somehow ends up completing NPTEL courses (dude, what!). Hackathons are attacked with utmost dedication (she even won, recently). Every exam, she walks out looking like she was told she had Grade 3 Meningioma, only for her CGPA to come back looking healthier than the Eddies’ combined. She also passed her senior music exam this year with just a 3-day prep because evidently talent just bows at her feet. Well, there is this lore of her being bribed with a cat just to take the exam. She's also finished her senior exam in Bharatanatyam. Speaking of talents, Akooks is secretly an insane artist too; her paintings are ogle-worthy. She also possesses a dark Wattpad history that the Board has collectively agreed to leave buried for the greater good.
However, the universe decided that one person cannot be bestowed with such great powers without a cost. Enter her vehicle skills—a public safety concern, honestly. She rides the scooter at a speed that could put the Flash to shame, while having her own personal Chappell Roan concert. But she, somehow, manages to hit a scooter while driving a car at the speed of a senile turtle. Sources say she was having a Mads Mikkelsen fantasy moment with a flushed face and giggly smile right before this. The real tragedy was not the accident but her driving instructor abandoning her barefoot on the road afterwards and speeding away, forcing her to sprint behind the car until he noticed (true cinema). But this experience is just one of the many bizarre things that happen to her. She once survived on minimum oxygen for an alarming amount of time (we’re considering alien ancestry), has enough rehabilitation centre lore near her house to actually be a regular there someday, and absolutely can’t be trusted with pasta sauces if you care for your internal organs. She also ghosts people on WhatsApp (every social media platform, really) for multiple business days like it’s a sport, and definitely seems to be on the run for gold. So, if it’s an emergency, you better ditch your modern SMS technology and send pigeons like a Victorian (but we don’t guarantee a reply).
Chaos definitely has a middle name, and it’s Apoorva. But is she thriving? Definitely miles ahead of all of us. Apoorva is genuinely one of the funniest people on earth. Her humour remains unmatched. One conversation with her and suddenly arson feels like a feasible hobby. She has the power to turn anything into an absurdly cinematic experience. She is the Board’s silent killer—both metaphorically and literally (concerning, unless you are on her good side). Maybe that’s the reason she takes NDAs so seriously (yes, you read it right). Her writing is something that leaves you in awe, every SINGLE time. A classic-style caption, or a cringe lovers’ scene, or a profound original piece on existence—she has all the guns in her armour and so much more. A little sweet, a lot chaotic, and infinitely talented, yet unnervingly unpredictable—that’s Apoorva.